🧊Growing in Two Directions: The Iceberg of Migration

20 June

Did you know that with an iceberg, only about 10% is visible above the waterline? That means a staggering 90% lies beneath the surface, vast, hidden, and often overlooked.

Migration is much the same.

Most people only notice the surface: where you're from, how well you speak English, what qualifications you hold, whether you’ve found work or a place to live. They see the outer changes, the things that fit neatly into boxes or look impressive on paper.

But you know that’s just a fraction of the story.

What they don’t see is the internal world you’re constantly navigating. The quiet, relentless work of growing in two directions at once outward into a new country, and inward into yourself.

The Growth Others See

There’s a kind of growth that people celebrate and maybe you’ve even been praised for it.
You’ve secured a job. You’ve found a place to call home. You’ve stood in front of iconic landmarks and smiled for the camera. You’ve built new friendships, picked up the slang, adjusted your accent, learned how things work here.

That kind of growth is important. It’s brave, and it’s real.

But it’s not the full story, is it?

The Growth Only You Can Feel

There’s another kind of growth, the kind that happens under the surface, often without applause.

It’s in the moments you rewrite your internal dialogue.
The times you ask yourself: Do I belong here? Am I allowed to be both who I was and who I’m becoming?

It’s the quiet ache of missing home while trying to feel at home. It’s grieving things you can’t explain a dish, a smell, a street you’ll never walk again, the person who used to serve you at your favourite cafe that you forgot to say goodbye to.

It’s discovering parts of yourself you never knew were there — or perhaps old parts re-emerging now that you're in a place where they finally have space.

This growth doesn’t come with a certificate or a welcome pack. It often goes unseen, even by you, until one day you look back and realise how much you’ve expanded — in resilience, in complexity, in courage.

You’re Doing More Than Most People Know

If you ever feel like you’re not doing enough, or not moving fast enough, remember this: you're growing in two directions. That takes time. That takes energy. That takes a strength most people will never understand.

And if you feel tired? That makes sense. This kind of transformation becoming rooted in a new place while carrying where you came from is exhausting.

You are not behind. You are not invisible. You are doing something extraordinary.

Your Growth Deserves to Be Nurtured

This deep, invisible growth needs space and care. It needs people around you who don’t just ask, “Where are you from?” but instead ask, “How are you, really?”

It needs systems that allow you to pause, to grieve, to celebrate, to be — without always having to prove something.

And it needs your own gentleness, too. Your permission to rest, to honour how far you’ve come, and to keep becoming without pressure to have it all figured out.